It is what it is....

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Why? How can a mother be so cold??

So it’s been well over a year since the falling out with my mother. She’s been very cold towards Tami and I over the past year. This last week, it’s gotten worse than ever.

Let me back up a little and explain. For the past 3 and 1/3 years, Tami and I have have been renting the house that she and I live in from my mom and step-dad. Back in December, 2008 Me, Tami and the kids were invited over to my mom and step-dad’s house for dinner to celebrate Hanukah. Well everyone, except my daughter Tiffany was invited because they had a falling out with her because she got mad because they were telling her how to raise her daughter (my grand-daughter). Tiffany really wanted to  go with us, so she called my step-dad and asked if she could come too. He told her no, and supposedly didn’t want talk about it at that time (from what he told me). Well, when the other kids found out that they said no, that Tiffany couldn’t come to this “family event”, they became upset and told Tami that they didn’t want to go if Tiffany couldn’t go.  Being loyal to my family and very upset with my parents for hurting my daughter’s feelings, I at that moment decided that I too didn’t want to go. This was supposed to be a “family event”, but what kind of family doesn’t allow another family member to not come.  With that said, I sent my step-dad a text message about an hour before it was time for us to be there, telling him that something came up and we wouldn’t be coming.   He attempted to call me back, but I didn’t answer any phone calls from them.

Nothing was said between us and my parents for a week, until a week later, we received an email from my step-dad wanting to know what was going on. A lot of emails went back and forth, a lot of apologizing from both myself and Tami went on, but in the end, my mom finally sent an email stating that she did not wish to email about this and that she wanted us to come over to talk about this.

We went over to their house in January 2009 to talk about what had happened. We brought Kaity, our youngest daughter with us because we didn’t have anyone to watch her at the time. Well, my mom wasn’t happy about this. This was grown-up talk and it was not to be discussed in front of children (meaning Kaity). So we left, proceeded on our way to go see Marley and Me at the movie theatre.  After the movie was over, we ran into my-ex wife Shelle out in the lobby.  She immediately, upon sighting us, starts to tell Tami that my parents won’t be able to take Ian and Kaity to the “Walking with Dinosaurs” show and that they gave her the tickets and asked her to take them. Well, there was no way in hell that was going to happen, we left the theatre and called my step-dad, upset, and asking him what he was thinking.

So now back to the present where we are currently at. One year later, my mom hasn’t gotten over this whole Hanukah thingy, is mad because I won’t meet with her alone to “hash things out” about what happened.  I won’t meet with her, because I know that all she wants to do is belittle me. Not going to happen.

So, three weeks ago, my parents called out of the blue and asked if they could come over to talk. I reluctantly said sure. Well, when they got here, they had their realtor in tow with them. The informed us that they wanted to sell of all of their rental properties and wanted to know if we would like to buy the house that we are living in from them. Shocked, we told them that we wanted to, but we would have problems with our credit and with coming up with a down payment. They told us that this wouldn’t be a problem, that they would gift us the down payment, but the down payment would be added back into the cost of the house. So all that left us with was working on our credit to qualify. Didn’t seem to hard.

So Tami and I begin work on repairing our credit so we can buy the house. So last week we find out that the Kronenbergs (I call them that when I refer to them) want to sell the house for $165,000. It seemed a bit steep since houses in our neighborhood don’t sell for more than $150,000 and the ones that are for sale have sat empty for over a year. Tami spoke with the Kronenberg’s realtor about the price, indicating her concern about the price and that she didn’t think the house was work $160k. He listened, told her okay that he would talk to the Kronenbergs about it. Well, two hours later we get a call from the Kronenbergs asking if they could bring a paper by for us to sign, again, I reluctantly said sure. 30 minutes later, there they are at our doorstep handing me a 30 notice to vacate. All because we don’t want to pay $160k for this house, I’m sure.

So for the past week, my poor wife has been stressed out, worried about what we’re going to do. We have a bid in, to purchase a home, but the seller and the realtor (unfortunately, we’re going thru the Kronenberg’s realtor) are being real flakes and keeping us guessing about whether we are going to get this home that we’d really like or not. We’re not really sure at this point where we’ll go if this house doesn’t pan out.

So now with all of that said, I’m up to the point of why I wrote this blog post. WHY?? How can a mother be sooooo cold and mean, and kick us out of our home, while the kids are only 4 months away from the end of the school year (in the middle of winter, none the less).  My mom has written me off, is kicking us out of her house, for what reason? MONEY……. She’s choosing money over her own son.  In fact, lately, she cares more about my son Ian, who lives the ex-wife, more than she does me. I’m her only son and she doesn’t give a damn about me. 

I don’t understand and I’m sure I never will. It’s said that she can be this way. Whatever happened to always having your mom there when you need her?